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|Pupule-Locks And The Three Mongeese|
|Once upon one time, lived three mongooses. Da Pops, Da Mama, and Da Junior Boy. One day Da Mama made some really onolicious pochogeese bean soup for eat but the stuff was smokin' hot. So before anybody had to call 911 to report multiple seco nd degree burns, Da Papa said "Eh, We go out cruising for little while." So Da Papa, Da Mama, and Junior Boy piled into their '68 Rambler and peeled out of the driveway.|
|Just after they left, a large shadowy figure came out from behind the keawe bushes next to the house. The buggah was about 582 pounds, 5 foot tall, had one straight Errol Flynn mustache, badoingy hair, tank top, buss'up baggy's, three missing teeth i n the front, one big eyebrow going all the way across the forehead, and two different kind slippers. Whoa! This was one ugly Tita!|
You could tell was one Wahine 'cuz of the braided under arm hairs and lipstick. Anyways, this girl was named Pupule-locks. S o Pupule-locks went strutting up the walkway to the front door and yelled "If you no open this door right now I going come inside and broke your face!".
Of course nobody was home but she was just checking. Then she gingerly ripped the door out of the frame and went inside. The first thing she smelled was the pochogeese bean soup! So she went into the kitchen, picked up the 20 gallon pot off t he stove, and proceeded to grind. "Okole Maluna" she grunted as she inhaled the whole thing, one time. "Not bad." she blurted as she exhaled." "Mo bettah than the Punahou carnival one."
After tanking down the appetizer, Pupule-locks decided to crash out. She went through the living room and totaled all the chairs on her way to find the bedroom. "Never can find one toothpick when you need one." she said, as she picked up a shattered 2x4 a nd started to work'em through the gaps in her teeth. Then she trashed all the beds, pulled off the mattresses, threw'em on the floor, and crashed.
Just then, the mongooses came tearing up the driveway. Da Pops got out of the car first and saw the front door lying in the yard. "What's the scoops with the door?" he screamed. "Confunn'it ! I going kick somebodies Okole but good for this !!" Da Pops went dig into the house with Da Mama right behind.
"My Soup!!" yelled Da Mama. "Somebody went scarf all my soup!!" And with that she picked up the 9 pound ball peen hammer she used for make poi, and followed Da Pops into the living room.
Da Mama was still staring at all the broken chairs when Da Pops said "I think somebody stay snoring upstairs!" Da Mama listened and nodded her head. "Whoever that is, the buggah going get some slaps from me!"
Then, Da Papa and Da Mama went upstairs and saw Pupule-locks crashed out on the floor. "Rush'um!!" said Da Pops, and the both tore into the sleeping Tita full on. Hooo Baby!! That was one beef and a half. The walls broke, the floor brok e, the roof caved in, the dust and smoke was flying everywhere!!! Then, silence.
As the dust settled you could see a lone figure stuffing two groaning fur balls into some Tupperware.Pupule-locks was victorious and was packing up Da Papa and Da Mama for take home and stuff." You guys going make some choice beer can holders" said the hulking tita. Then all of one sudden Pupule-locks dropped the Tupperware and started to slowly back off. Her eyes was glazed, the pupils dilated, she was staring straight ahead. It was Da Junior Boy.
"Wise Up!" said Da Junior Boy. "Nobody eats my pochogeese bean soup without asking" and with that he busted out two plantation issue sugar cane knives,six hand polished Koa hunting spears, and a WWII surplus bazooka.
"Nah, nah, nah" stuttered Pupule-locks." Just joking, no make hu-hu..." and with that she turned around and digged out for her life, never to be seen again.
Da Pops and Da Mama recovered quickly from their multiple katooges, and along with Da Junior Boy they lived happily ever afters....
The Moral of this story is: Never eat at somebodies house without being invited first.
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